ABC's of Motherhood

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M is for "Make The Best of It"

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Motherhood has a way of handing out some tough challenges.  Some of us have children with special needs that we never imagined when we pictured being a mom.  Some of are facing financial challenges that are stretching us.  Some of us may be experiencing marriage problems.

While I'm not suggesting we stick our heads in the sand I think some of life's problems are best faced with a bit of common sense.  If we spend all our time bemoaning what "might have been" we aren't putting our heart into making it better.

That child whose struggles frustrate us isn't helped by a mother who is in a state of depression.  The financial struggles aren't improved if we gripe about what we can't afford, and most marriages aren't helped by wishing that we had married prince charming.

Find a mom who has a child with similar special needs, and ask her for some input with your child.  Look online for tips on saving money and budgeting what income you have.  If your marriage is faltering talk to your minister about some quality marriage counseling, and in the meantime try praying for your spouse no matter how much they are frustrating you right now.

Most importantly commit to not communicating negatively about whatever is challenging you.  You should talk about it, but if you are constantly complaining about it the issue can become a mountain.

I am by no means an expert on any of the three challenges that I wrote about, but I have experienced all three at different times in my life.  

ABC's of Motherhood

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1. L is for "Laughter"

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There is something about maintaining a sense of humor that makes the more intense difficult days of being a mother more bearable.  In fact I have a theory that some of the best mothers are the one's who can laugh at the worst circumstances.

I have a good friend who has children that are just a few years older than mine.  One day as we chatted on the phone I could hear whoops of laughter coming from the background--somebody was obviously having a very good time.  When I inquired she told me that her children were sliding down the stairs on a crib mattress. 

As I silently pondered the damage to the mattress and the stairs she added that she wanted them to clean out from under their beds, and she saw this activity as a means to an end.

I learned an excellent lesson that day in just enjoying the moment.  Eventually this mom would put an end to the mattress surfing, and they would start cleaning, but in the meantime she was laughing with them.

Now it's your turn--what are some of the best laughs you've had lately--either with, or at your children.

ABC's of Motherhood

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K is for "kind words"

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As mothers we have a lot of influence on our children, and a good part of that comes from the words we speak. 

For me it's not so much what I say as it is how I say it.  As the day wears on and my patience stretches and thins my tones get sharp.  Frequently words are said louder than they need to be. 

My children don't respond quicker or more positively when I speak that way, and what's even worse it makes my home a dreadful place to be--not a haven.

I've been making an effort to bite my tongue before I snap at my children, and to turn down the volume on my voice.  My children actually seem to listen better when I speak quietly.

ABC's of Motherhood

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J is for Joy

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Joy is not a plastic smile on your face as you grit your teeth while changing yet another diaper.  It goes much deeper than that.  Most mom's have aspects of mothering that they struggle with, and if we let them they can "steal" our joy.

I'll give you an example.  Pink eye is making the rounds at our house, and over the weekend it caught up with me.  I staggered around doing my work while my eyes itched and blurred.  I did NOT feel very joyful.

While passing a mirror I glanced at my reflection and was surprised to realize that I looked like a weepy mess.  I hadn't been crying, but my eyes were red and swollen, and a little scary looking.  For some reason this struck me funny, and I kept laughing every time I thought about how pathetic I looked.

In looking at the big picture I realized that this illness won't last forever, it really doesn't hurt, and it gives me something to laugh about when I look in the mirror.

"My brethren count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;  Knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience."  James 1:2-3 

ABC's of Motherhood

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I is for Inspiration

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One of the best cures that I know of for "mommy burnout" is to gain inspiration from other mothers.  Our job is a hard one with many challenges, and we need to be reminded again and again that it is a high calling.

The internet is a good place to find new ideas and encouragement for new ways of doing our daily tasks.  This past week was a very busy one for me.  We had a lot going on with homeschooling, and some viral illness floating happily around our house.

I thought I would share some places that I gained inspiration during the craziness.

This first one reminded me of something I haven't made in a while, and the picture made my mouth water

http://myfivemen.blogspot.com/2012/04/p-is-for-pizza.html

This entire blog inspires me!  However this post was particularly poignant, and yes it's about one of my favorite subjects--adoption!

http://hishandshisfeettoday.blogspot.com/2012/04/oh-no-not-me.html

This is a series of posts on natural alternatives to sugar.  If nothing else it inspired me to cut back on the amount of white sugar my family consumes.

http://homejoys.blogspot.com/2012/04/do-you-remember-series-of-posts-last.html

Did I just say something about cutting out sugar?  First I need to make these, and THEN I'll cut back on sugar.  If you are looking for some "food inspiration" this whole blog is full of it.  Plus the author is one of the nicest people I know. :)

http://canelakitchen.blogspot.com/2012/04/dark-fudgy-brownies.html

Ok, your turn.......what inspired you this past week?

ABC's of Motherhood

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H is for "hear"



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Every day my ears are bombarded with many things.  However, I have a choice as to what I actually "hear."

I think most mom's are pretty good at tuning out some things, and listening to others, but it does take some effort.

For example today I could choose to hear a lot of whining and sobbing from my youngest who is teething.  Instead I think I'll focus on hearing his chuckles of delight over the craft pom poms that I allowed him to play with. (It looks like a "no no" and that's what makes it appealing.)

Another thing that I sometimes "hear" is criticism from others.  I can choose to listen and dwell on the negativity, or I can remember that they aren't walking in my shoes right now, and truly may not understand.

What are some good things that you are choosing to hear today?

ABC's of Motherhood

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G is for "Good"

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I'm going to let you in on a little secret about my personality.  I'm kind of a pessimist.  Thankfully I'm married to an eternal optomist who helps to balance me out, but my tendency to see the "bad" in every situation can sink me into a sad state. 

When I'm feeling extra tired or worn down I need to work doubly hard at seeing the good all around me.  Because I'm a list maker I will sometimes make a list of all the good things in my life.  I am surrounded by wonderful people and things, and my focus on the positves rubs off on my children.

So tell me, what's good in your life today?

ABC's of Motherhood

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F is for "fun"

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Often what I need more than anything else at the end of a hard day is a good laugh.  I tend to take myself and my work too seriously.  

I think you should find at least one thing to laugh about every day.  Sometimes this might mean laughing at your own mistakes.

Having said that--allow me to give you a laugh at my expense. 

This morning was hectic.  The children were extra hyper and naughty.  One particular little two year old was being a stinker.  He kept taking everyone else's toys and being a general bugger.  I finally told him to put his nose in the corner--hoping that he would desire to mend his ways. 

 I went on my merry way doing laundry and homeschooling, all the while having a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something important.  Quite a while later I noticed this little lad dutifully leaning into a corner and I thought "what is he doing now?"

Just as I opened my mouth to ask him it occurred to me that I had sent him there.  I sheepishly told him he could go play.  Good thing I saw him or he might still be standing there. 

I don't think I'll be winning "mommy of the year" award today. 

So, what made you laugh today?  (Besides my silly mistake.)

ABC's of Motherhood

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E is for "easy"

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I'm convinced that I can make my own life more difficult than it needs to be.  I try to "do it all."  I make complicated meals, try to keep my house spotless, do lots of extras in my homeschooling.  I create the perfect life for myself. 

However, my family pays for it.  They have to live with a crabby wife and mom who snaps and growls her way through each day. 

Lately I've been making an effort to make my life a little more easy wherever I can.  I cook simply, I tidy the house several times a day--but I don't stress about it.  I do the basics with homeschooling, but I try to let my children learn some of the "extras" from real life. 

The result is a much more pleasant home.

What are some ways you make your life easy?

ABC's of Motherhood

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C is for "can"

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Mothering has a lot of difficult moments.  Moments when your heart sinks and you feel you have no where to turn.  Children can bring us to the end of ourselves in a few short minutes.

The good news is that we don't have to do it alone.  More than once I have sobbed out a prayer to the Lord for strength to do the next thing.  My children aren't very old, but I know my need for help from above isn't going to lessen as they get older.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me."  Phillipians 4:13

ABC's of Motherhood

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B is for "begin again"

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As a mom I make mistakes--

I raise my voice in impatience.

I brush a child off when they want my attention.

I say things I don't mean.

Sometimes mommy's need a "do over."

I have tip toed into my son's room after he went to bed and whispered an apology more than once.  The next day always goes better.

The great thing about this is there is no age limit.  Even if your children are adults you can begin again.  All it takes is a little help from Above!





ABC's of Motherhood

I've decided to have a theme for Monday's.  Partly because Monday is a difficult day for me, but also because it's a good way to start the week.  I am going to work my way through the alphabet with something that applies to mothering that starts with each letter of the alphabet.

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A is for attitude.

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Over and over I've noticed that my attitude sets the theme for our home. 

When I am positive and upbeat my children are too. 

When I am grouchy and tired they snap at each other and grumble their way through the day.

I realize that not every day is a good day, and plastering a smile on your face like a clown will not automatically make things better.  However, when I feel myself spiraling into a "funk" I try to slip away from the situation and give myself this pep talk.

" I am the only one who can change my bad attitude--blaming it on someone or something else doesn't help--choosing to be happy in spite of my circumstances DOES!"