Adjusting

Someone asked in the comments how our adjustment to foster parenting has gone.  Since we've never done this before I really have nothing to compare it to, but I'll do my best.

Probably the hardest thing has been some sleep issues.  For the first seven weeks they were here the baby got up every three hours like a newborn.  That was pretty rough. 

I can catch myself over-analyzing our family.  I hear a little squabble and I panic over how my adopted children are not "accepting" the foster kids.  Then I realize ALL children squabble, and ALL families have a certain amount of spatting back and forth.  If they were sweet to each other all the time it wouldn't be real.

I've had to adjust to cooking more, or at least having less left-overs.  These little guys can EAT!  A 9x13 pan of food no longer makes two meals for us.

All-in-all though these children are just normal little people.  Granted they've been through a lot in their short little lives, but they and we have adjusted well. 

They came with no guarantees, and there are lots of unknowns in their future, but last time I checked no child is born with guarantees.

I think most parents would admit that parenting has thrown them a few curve balls, and foster parenting is no exception to this rule.

Basically none of us has the promise that tomorrow will be perfect, or that there are not unseen challenges waiting for us around the bend.

We do have the promise that we don't have to face any adjustments or challenges alone.

"Lo, I am with you always." Matthew 28:20

Of Boys and Football

Football is the current game of choice in our house.


Only it's not your typical tackle football.


It's indoor football.


With a pillow pet for a football.


There is no age limit--I know this because the 15month old just waddled past me clutching the "football", and chuckling gleefully.

The two year old mostly just yells "hut, hut" at the top of his lungs, and when the ball is passed to him he flings it skyward in a random sort of way.

There is lots of crashing, and rolling on the floor.

A few cries of "that's not how you're supposed to play."

And a loud boyish boistrousness that surrounds the whole game.

The noise bothers me a little.

The crashing and rolling worries me some.

But I've decided to ignore it.

After all---boys will be boys.

Drowning In Clothes

Lately I've been a little overwhelmed with clothing.  Don't get me wrong--I'm thankful that we have clothes, but sometimes I think we have too many.

My 9 and 7 year old boys have approximately 10 "every day" shirts each.  However they only like about 3 or 4 of them.  (Who knew that boys were that particular about clothes.)  Anyway, they shuffle through their stacks of shirts and some fall on the floor and some get wadded up in the back of their dresser, and the result is a very crabby mommy--when she puts clean laundry away.

So..............yesterday I put my foot down.  I even told them I was putting my foot down.  They looked a little nervous, but till it was all said and done I think they like the new system.

I pulled all their clothes out of their cupboard/dresser.  I was washing their clothes yesterday--so I did this as I was folding the clean clothes.  I sorted through them and saved out six or seven pairs of pants, and the same number of shirts--making sure that it included their "favorites".

 Next I paired them together.  Instead of having a stack of shirts, and a stack of pants I now had one stack of outfits.  This wasn't hard to do because they mostly wear blue jeans, and so all their pants are interchangeable with all their shirts.  Now they can pull a pair of pants, and a shirt out of their cupboard with very little effort.

There were no extra pants, but the extra shirts I plan to pass on to another family, or give to Goodwill.  I've come to the conclusion that too many clothes do not make my life simpler.  I do laundry several times a week--so this should not be a problem.

I'm curious, how do other moms handle the clothing monster?  Am I being ridiculous to think my children only need 5 or 6 outfits each?

November Is National Adoption Month

Please take the time to watch this--it's powerful!

How Embarrassing

I usually do my grocery shopping in the evenings after my husband is home.  Each of the children take turns going along with me, and it's always a fun time of connecting with whoever goes along.

Last night after we finished an early supper I headed out into the rainy night with my second child in tow.  I hurried out the door making sure I had my list, my wallet, and the van keys.  I was feeling extra organized, and happy over all the things I had accomplished that day.

Once we arrived at the grocery store I breezed through my shopping while chatting with my son.  There were some good sales on items I needed and I quickly filled my cart. 

As I was hurrying up to the checkout counter I reached for my purse to ready my debit card for a quick swipe.  I scrabbled through my purse in dismay as I realized that I had left the debit card AT HOME. 

Thoroughly humiliated I explained my plight to the checkout clerk, and asked if I could set my cart aside and run home to retrieve the card.  I mumbled something about my foggy brain, and my son loudly agreed.  "She forgets everything!"  he announced grinning widely.

How embarrassing!!

I totally deserve this outspoken son of mine.  I was the child in my family who blabbed secrets to everyone, and talked when I should have remained silent. 

Being on the receiving end of a child's painful honesty stings a little though.

Quiet Time

One of the things that I long for as a mom--is quiet.

I mean silence.

Where there is no noise except the faucet dripping.

With six people living in our home it is very rarely quiet.

Sometimes I get so focused on moving from one activity to the next.

That I forget that we ALL need "down time."

We like each other better after we have all been still for a while each day.

My younger foster babies take naps.

My older boys look at books, or rest quietly.

I sometimes just sit and do nothing.

Or read blogs. :)

But we all function better with a little quiet each day.

How about your family? 

Do you need quiet time every day?

When In Doubt Shut Your Mouth

I love to talk.

Maybe I've mentioned that before.

However, there are times when it's better to be quiet.

Yes, this post actually has a connection to Friday's post.

The hearing went pretty much exactly as we expected.

Essentially nothing has changed for now.

There are a few little monkey wrenches that have been thrown into the case.

I could worry.........

But I've decided not to.

Back to the subject at hand........or mouth.

Right before the hearing--a member of my foster children's birth family talked to me.

Actually she asked me one question.

I could have blabbed all sorts of information at her.

Some of it useful--most of it not.

I chose instead to simply answer her question.

I have thought of a hundred different things I could have said, but I doubt they would have improved the situation.

The relationship between foster parents, and birth parents is strained at best.

I think keeping my mouth shut was the right thing to do.

Thank you so much for all your prayers!!