Friday, October 11, 2013

Dear Sugar Pea

Dear Sugar Pea,

When we started this journey that is your life over 15 months ago.....

I'm so glad I didn't know everything.

I didn't know how many times I would have to watch your body struggle to gain the ground that wasn't gained prenatally.

I didn't know how many birth parent visits I would hold you after.

As your little body shook from sobs of confusion and fear.

I didn't know that one of your birth parents would threaten to hurt my family.

I didn't know that the judge in charge of your case would let it drag out this long.

(DHS was hoping to have it closed in six months.)

I didn't know that when I picked you up at the hospital I would have a police escort out of the building.

See, if I had known I might have tried to foster you on my own--with sheer determination--all these things that took me by surprise forced me to ask for help from the One who always heard my cries.

It's almost over now........the last TPR hearing is next week.

That doesn't mean I'm done asking for help to be your mamma though.

I'm pretty sure I'll be doing that for the rest of my life.

Love, Mamma