Sticky Note Saturdays

 

To Do It Well

When we first started our foster parenting journey I had some preconcieved notions of how things worked. 

I had observed other foster parents who seemed to parent these little ones effortlessly, and I wanted desperately for our home to be a safe and happy place for those who came there.

I never wanted to have a "us" and "them" mentality.  I wanted our family to be one unit that flowed seemlessly from foster children to adopted children.

I've worked hard at this, and for the most part it has been a sucess.

In the past several weeks though--I've come to a realization.

There has to be a solid and healthy "us" for us to take care of and minister to "them."

My children need to be secure in the awareness that foster children may come and go, but they will always stay.

Because of this there are things that I need to do for my children that I might not be able to do for the foster children in our home.

There are words that I can't say to my foster babies--words like forever or always.

This in no way means that I show favoritism to "my children" by buying them special things, or toys, or letting them get away with disobedience or wrong behaivior.

I'm really talking more about the emotional side of our relationship.

I know that there are a few foster mom's that read my blog, and I would like to hear how you handle this.

Change is Hard

Change is hard--whether it's a "good" change or a "bad" change.

We tend to be creatures of habit, and frankly we like it that way.

However, change is unavoidable, and our family is currently going through a big one.

Our three newest foster children are moving this week.

And no matter how you look at it--we are going to have some HUGE adjustments around here.

So, if you would pray for us as we experience this change we would appreciate it!!!!

ABC's of Motherhood

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K is for "kind words"

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As mothers we have a lot of influence on our children, and a good part of that comes from the words we speak. 

For me it's not so much what I say as it is how I say it.  As the day wears on and my patience stretches and thins my tones get sharp.  Frequently words are said louder than they need to be. 

My children don't respond quicker or more positively when I speak that way, and what's even worse it makes my home a dreadful place to be--not a haven.

I've been making an effort to bite my tongue before I snap at my children, and to turn down the volume on my voice.  My children actually seem to listen better when I speak quietly.

Big Announcement

Now what was I going to blog about today..........hmmmm...........seems like it was something important, but I just can't seem to remember--I'm just kidding. :)

As most of you know last year in June we had two little foster boys placed in our homes.  They were 20 months and 10 months old.

In the early part of this year both of them had parental rights terminated making them available for adoption.

As you may have guessed we were definitely interested in adopting them.

However, there was one little glitch.

There was a family member that was also interested in adopting them.

For reasons I can't blog about that would have never happened.

But as a formality they had to have an adoption home study done.

Basically what this meant for us is that the adoption of these two little guys would take a looooong time.

Those of you who have been through the adoption process know what this means.

Extra stress!!

Because, until the last document is signed, and the judge makes his ruling there is just a feeling you have.

Maybe it's a little like being pregnant, overdue, and just wanting to give birth. ( I've never been pregnant so that might not be a good analogy.)

Anyway, back to my story.

Yesterday my case worker ( whom I like a lot ) called me and told me that the family member had withdrawn their appeal to adopt the boys.


Which means..................................

We are adopting these two little guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess What

I am so excited right now!

I'm sitting here at my computer desk jittering, and I am NOT a jittery person.

There is a silly smile plastered across my face.

See there was something that I've been wanting to share on this blog.

But there was one more prayer I was waiting to be answered first.

The last couple of days have been rough for me.

I just felt tired and discouraged.

But today I got a phone call that was that final prayer that got answered.

So, I have some big news to announce.

But................

I think I'll wait till tomorrow to do it.  hee hee

Facing My Fear

 I have a couple of secret fears--especially in relation to foster parenting

Things that I'm pretty sure I would not handle well.

This past week one of those fears became a reality.

I found head lice on my children.

I very nearly lost it.

I washed bedding,

I scrubbed heads with weird smelling chemicals,

I nit-picked. (literally)

I fretted and stewed until my husband could come home and look at my head. ( Which itched like crazy )

I called everyone who we had been in contact with for the last couple of days.

And at the end of the day I realized something profound.

HEAD LICE ARE NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't wish the crawly little bugs on anyone, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

  Many loads of laundry washed in hot water.

 Lots of head scrubbing and holding squirmy toddlers still, but we all survived. 

Somehow my imagination had ranked head lice up there with a national disaster, and it's really not.

Have you ever faced your worse fear, and realized it's not as bad as you thought?